Ok, this may be the weirdest thing I’ve ever had pilfered. I noticed today that someone has stolen my round, chrome Ikea patio table from my front porch, but left the two chairs. What the hell?
I’m not so much angry as confused. I have so many questions.
- Why MY table? There are many tables and chairs on porches around here, most more expensive than mine and virtually all with no fences around the front yard.
- Why just the table? What, are the chairs not good enough for you?
- When the hell did you do it? I mean, a whole table right off my front porch???
Now, I have these two lonely patio chairs just sitting on the front porch. I’m really hoping that I will start getting pictures of my table sitting on porches all over the globe. If not, I’ll be sorely disappointed.
To have someone come all the way across your front yard past a fence and up on your porch to steal a cheap table is the tops in stupidity on the thief’s part. It does give one an eery feeling though to think some asshole would do that when you might have been at home. I guess we’ll have to lock and chain everything from now on.
Leave the chairs out and they’ll come take them too eventually. When I lived in The Heights someone stole one large 50+ pound concrete planter! A concrete planter!? So, to not give them the satisfaction of owning a pair, I took the other one to the back of the house. While carrying the damn thing, I thought, “Now I know why they only took one, these damn things are freakin’ heavy!!” Needless to say, when we moved, we left the single planter in the backyard. I hope whoever stole the first one got a freakin’ hernia.