Men’s Health Magazine recently ranked 101 American cities based on the best places for women to find “a mate.” Personally, I’m not fond of that name. I’d prefer “sperm donor” or “dude who signs the checks.” That’s much more personal.
Anyway, ladies in Houston are in luck as H-town ranks 20th on the list. Oh sure, both Dallas and Austin rank ahead of us, but not by much. We assume Dallas ranks higher because of the number of plastic surgeons per capita, but we were surprised the intense pachuli smell of the average Austin male didn’t lower their grade.
Here were their criteria for the rankings:
In order to find the latitude and longitude for love, the magazine crunched the numbers for 101 cities, analyzing their ratio of single men to women, percentage of divorced men (never married is more likely to stay married), the physical shape of the suitors (a fit man won’t a widow make), the percentage of men who open their wallets wide to charity (they’ll give in a relationship, too), the percentage of guys who’ve graduated from college (you want a brain to go with that brawn), and finally, the availability of chemistry-building activities (sharing in high-adrenaline sports produces a mutual boost in attraction).
So, ladies, you can hang with the ballaz and shot callaz in the Bayou City and feel safe that, eventually, you’ll find someone worthy of settling down.
If you feel like moving, number 1 is San Francisco. I wonder if their gaydar was off and/or if they realized that SF is also hippie central. Not that Ann Coulter will ever spawn anything but a demon child enseminated directly by Satan himself, but you conservative ladies might have to bite your tongue if you want to live in Mating Central, USA.
On the other end of the spectrum is Toledo, Ohio. It’s the home of Jamie Farr. Nuff said.