Eating the Bride On Her Wedding Night…and Beyond
January 8th, 2008 by jeff
Now, before you start freaking out and thinking I’m talking about sex - I know how you are you repressed pervs - take a look at this:
In case you are blind or are unable to see crazy with the naked eye, this is a bride and groom (note the groom peeking his head out from behind the bride…meekly) with their wedding cake and the cake is a full sized version of…the bride. Oh, yes, it’s true.
The word “diva” is thrown around a lot these days, but I think we may have a winner.
According to the quotes in the captions, the bride had always dreamed of having a doll made in her image (well, of course she has!) and that her husband was completely supportive of her decision to do this. Naturally, when you carry a man’s penis around in a small glass jar for him, he’s pretty much going to do whatever you ask no matter how insanely tacky and vain that request may be.
I think the entire tiny plastic bride and groom cake topper business may be in trouble.
Apparently, friends helped devour the bride for several days. They even came by the house to eat a piece of her.
Seriously, people, this crap writes itself. How many more sexual metaphors can I make about this cake eating business? Hmmm…let’s see.
Her frosting was delicious.
She was so good, I swallowed her whole.
One guy just licked the icing off her boobs.
Feel free to play along.
Ew. “Waiter, there’s a hair in my cake. Oh, wait. I guess I got the pony tail.”
At least it’s cake and not pie. No one wants to eat a hair p…okay, never mind. That’s too offensive even for me.
I knew this one would generate a hilarious blog post. Is it wrong that I saw “the essence of perv” oozing out of this photo and then thought of you? LOL. Oh, I keed. I KEED.
That husband is in a heep of hurt. If he didn’t know what he was getting himself into before the wedding, he certainly realized the error of his ways when he was forced to watch his Best Man going for his bride’s sugary mix. And then sloppy seconds? Poor guy.
LOL @ Jenny’s post.
Torrie sent me this story yesterday and I was appalled. Doesn’t the groom look terrified?
Ah, only in Texas.
Wow - a whole new meaning for gettin a piece of ass!
Perverted jokes aside…I just can NOT EVEN imagine!!!! I can not. I can’t even….yeah HUH?!?!?! Why???????????????????????????? If I were prone to speechlessness…but anyway…
Meanwhile I also have to wonder if the groom gets jealous if anyone else has a piece of the boobie.
Also, your post is very funny, written by itself or not!
Oh goodness. I missed this last week. I think I would faint from the shock of walking into a wedding reception and seeing that. Then I would snicker all night long at the potential perv jokes.
Just think of the money spent on that thing? It makes my head swoon!