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We face difficult times. There’s terrorism, a global economic crisis, poverty, disease and an eminent attack from zombies. Ok, maybe that’s stretching it. “Global” is overstating it.

Anyway, in these uncertain times, we all need things we to believe in. In a world becoming increasingly divided by our view points, we need something on which we all agree. I think I’ve found it:

Women’s breasts.

Let’s face it. We all love them. Men, women, gay, straight, black, white, adults, children…we are all fans. It doesn’t matter who has them or what they look like or how big or small they are. We are all captivated by them. Women love their own and other women’s. Men (gay and straight - you know it’s true) love them. It’s universal.

I propose that we begin every negotiation with this simple premise. Imagine the goodwill it would engender.

Conservative: Ok, well, let’s get this meeting on gay marriage underway.
Liberal: *sigh* Ok.
Mediator: Before we get started, let’s all find some common ground.
*grumbles from the crowd - what could we possibly agree on?*
Mediator: Who in here likes breasts?
Conservatives: WE DO!
Liberals: WE DO!
*laughs and high fives*

See how the love of breasts can bring even the staunchest opponents together? In fact, I think that there is no such thing as good and evil, just those who love breasts and those who don’t. There’s a third category: those who love them but say they don’t. Their lies do nothing but hurt us all and make our children cry.

We all should embrace (or squeeze, if you will) our love for the female breast. It is the one thing that can bring us all together.

Amen.

On the internet, there are websites for every kind of fetish known to human kind and some we probably should never know about. You hot for people without legs? You like feet or bald women? You like people covered in mud or food or wrestling in jello? There is a site for you.

No, I’m not going to link to them for you, perv. Find it yourself.

However, something I noticed sometime ago appears to be missing from the pantheon of weirdo sites about the quirks of people. This is a trait I have determined through countless hours of investigation and exhaustive research to be nearly always indicative of attractiveness in women: bunny teeth.

I’m not talking about “buck teeth” - teeth that protrude out from the mouth like a horse. I’m talking about when the front two teeth are longer than the rest. Take a look at a few examples:

This is just a sample. Yvonne Strahovski from TV’s “Chuck”, Jessica Simpson (who seems to have since had hers mostly filed down - something too many women in Hollywood do), Megan Fox, Naomi Watts, Christina Applegate and Kirsten Dunst are just a few examples of women with bunny teeth who also happen to be hot.

Now, this doesn’t mean all women with bunny teeth are hot or all women without bunny teeth are not. This is not an “if and only if” logic equation. It is just, in my opinion, an indicator of attractiveness.

So, ok freaks, get on it and make up a fetish site for the bunny teeth. If you can have one for inverted nipples (don’t ask), you sure as hell can have one for this.

I had my backpack and my camera. I was sitting under a tree in the cool autumn air as parents and their kids played with ducks and flew kites. A really wonderful jazz ensemble rehearsed for a show and the onlookers cheered. I made my way to a cool little coffee shop for some bottled water and a piece of cake. For a minute, I thought I was back in New York, but I was here in Houston.

Every once in a while, I get in these contemplative moods, usually triggered by some bout of introspection caused itself by a challenging moment in my life. Today was one of those times and it got me thinking about how tumultuous and astounding life can be.

Two months ago…

I was about to have a fight with some guy named Ike - a fight that shut down more than the power in my house. In the time since then, I traveled to New York (and beyond) twice. I spent time laying in the sun in Central Park and riding in a van full of musicians over 3000 miles. I saw a relationship that had brought me incredible happiness end sadly over problems I didn’t see coming and I decided to put the house I’ve lived in the last 14 years on the market, foretelling another complicated few months to come.

One year ago…

I was happy, in shape and my house was clean. I was getting ready for the holidays and feeling good about life. I was finally over a relationship with someone who became a dear friend. I didn’t realize that, two months later, I’d be sitting in a hospital room deciding to allow my father to die with dignity and going through the most difficult time in my life.

Four years ago…

I didn’t realize that, in just about a month, my marriage would end.

Eight years ago…

While everyone else was trying to figure out who was going to be the next President, I was catching up on sleep after a nine-month battle to keep the Rockets in Houston passing a referendum that, on election night, seemed really unimportant compared to the battle over hanging chads and Supreme Court rulings that was to come. I had no idea that the efforts my friend and I made in the election would turn into a business he and I share as business partners today.

Fourteen years ago…

I was just getting back from my honeymoon. I saw the first real snow of my life. I was happy and would, in less than six months, own the first house of my life.

Eighteen years ago…

I was in the middle of a crazy relationship that would soon end and working at a music store trying to figure out where my life was going. I had no idea, in less than six months, I’d meet the woman I would marry and move inside the loop, never to return (dum dum DUM!!! - what, I like the dramatic music?).

Twenty-two years ago…

I walked down 48th Street in Manhattan marveling over the music stores filled with killer guitars. My best friend and I, young musicians ourselves, bought $2 scarves from street corner vendors and took porn flyers from clowns smoking cigars. The world seemed magical and wide open in front of us.

And today…

I sit at Coffee Grounds writing this, counseling a friend via email and wondering what is to come. As Tommy Lee Jones said in Men In Black, “Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow.”

If you’ve been keeping up, you know I’ve spent a couple of weeks over the past two months in New York City. I LOVE NYC. I don’t think I could ever live there, but I love the city and love visiting. One of the great things about it is all the really beautiful parks right in the heart of Manhattan, Central Park being chief among them. If you’ve never been, it is difficult to explain just how cool Central Park is, this big, beautiful urban park squeezed in between high rises.

That whole urban lifestyle is something that has always fascinated me. Well, if you haven’t been in downtown Houston recently, we’re getting a bit of our own urban life downtown as well. Besides the transformation of Main Street, we have the new House of Blues and other shops in the same complex. We added Minute Maid Park in the late 90’s and Toyota Center in 2001. We may have a Dynamo stadium before too much longer nearby.

But my favorite thing so far is Discovery Green Park. Before tonight, I had been there only once when my band did a show there this past summer. I didn’t get much of a chance to walk around - it was too damn hot - but it looked really cool. Tonight, I ventured down there for the Art Guys anniversary celebration and I was really, REALLY impressed.

I mainly went to see some friends play and take some pictures, but I came away with a new appreciation for Houston’s latest park space. The designers did themselves proud. The lake reflections were amazing, the stages in fantastic condition, the restaurants beautiful (the Lakehouse was quite tasty and reasonable) and the bathrooms clean. They seemed to put things in for everyone - a dog park, a playground for kids, I even overheard that they are going to freeze part of the lake for a skating rink this winter.

When I read some of the plans about the park a couple years back, I was a little skeptical. It felt like too much - like a disjointed mish-mash of ideas crammed into a park space. They most definitely proved me wrong. Oh, and even minus the Art Guys party, the park was full of people. Clearly, I’m not the only one who loves it.

If you’ve never been, do yourself a favor and do it while our weather is beautiful.

I’ve been thinking alot lately about networks and differences and where I fit into it all. This came up for me when I started thinking about my friends and how many of them didn’t know each other because I have varying interests that don’t often intersect. Just because I’m really nerdy, I stole from the wonderful Indexed the concept of diagrams to make my point.

These are the primary intersections of me and my circles of friends, not necessarily my overriding interests though they are all up there. In one way or another, my friends are connected to me through one of these things and, on occasion, they intersect, but not often.

In only a few rare instances do I have friends who I somehow know through all four interest areas. Some, I only know through one. It’s a really odd phenomena to me and I wonder who else out there find themselves in the same boat. I’m guessing quite a few, particularly those with families who may or may not share your varied interests. For example, you may have friends with kids like you, but other friends who you just know on Twitter who are single.

It reminds me of being a kid and having friends from school, friends from church and friends who lived in my neighborhood (I didn’t go to public school, so the kids on my street didn’t go to school with me). It had an odd, disjointed feeling about it because my interactions were so different with each of those groups and often limited to very specific activities or interests. In some ways, I envy people I know who grew up with a group of people and remained friends for virtually their entire lives. In other ways, I like the diversity.

I don’t really have a point here other than to say it is something that has been on my mind lately…wondering how these odd intersections impact my life and which one’s mean the most to me.

The day after the election, I guess I’m feeling introspective or some other sensitive shit like that.

I was talking to a couple of my friends today who are black and asking them their thoughts on the election. They were very cautious as was I. Tonight, we can all say that the United States has elected it’s first black president.

I am a big believer in opportunity for everyone, but I have to admit that I did not think that this is something I would see in my lifetime.

I’m proud of our country for being open to something different.

Yes we can.

If you haven’t early voted, tomorrow is it. So, do it, will ya?

I was a teenager when MTV switched on and changed the music business forever, so I remember fondly sitting in front of my parents old television and watching videos. Now, we all get to enjoy MTV again…online, and I can re-discover my youth and remember the soft spot I have for punk rock girls.

I don’t generally like to complain about things, but let me just say a few words about the Howard Johnson’s in Newark near the airport.

First off, it is in possibly the most difficult place to find on planet earth. I think if we had a sherpa, an aboriginal tracking guide and the guy who actually made the maps for Newark, I still think we’d end up lost trying to find this place. In fairness, this isn’t entirely the fault of Ho Jo’s. Much of it is due to the HIDEOUS signage in New Jersey. Finding an exit off the highway is…well, you get the idea.

Second, this may be the laziest and least helpful staff in the history of hotels. They not only ignore you when talking on the phone or with other staff members, but they have washing machines with no detergent available, they are clueless with directions and, best of all, they only HALF make the beds. I swear, three times we’ve come in and the bedspread will bed on the floor instead of on the bed, the pillows will be left out or there will a couple towels left unfolded on the toilet. WTF?

Lastly, the staff honestly does not care. I asked for change for a dollar from the woman at the little gift shop (a family runs this place) and she just shook her head - no words, no sorry, no nothing. Crazy.

Oh, almost forgot, there is this guy at the toll both getting in and out of the parking lot (yeah, it’s $15 per night to park at the hotel). He’s a part of the family that runs the place, but I’m guessing he’s like a less than intelligent cousin because he just sits there, stares at you when you hand him the ticket with his hat on sideways while listening to CRAZY Indian music in the background and nodding his head to the…err…beat?

So, I wouldn’t recommend this place.